Carrying 500lbs vs. 20lbs: Embracing the Weight of Knowledge
In the summer of 2018, I found myself immersed in the world of Design at a PreCollege program. It was an exciting yet challenging time, navigating through complex concepts and new techniques. One day, my professor made a comment that stuck with me: "You're trying to carry 500lbs when others are only carrying 20lbs." At the time, his words felt like a critique, but over the years, I've come to appreciate the depth of his observation.
From the beginning, I had a tendency to dive deep into the subjects that intrigued me. While my classmates chose simpler topics, I gravitated toward challenging themes like mental health disorders, "deja vu" and "quantum entanglement." My eagerness often led me down paths less traveled, dedicating countless hours to research and experimentation. Yet, despite the hard work, I sometimes felt like I was lagging behind.
While my classmates seemed to move through their projects with ease, choosing more straightforward topics and swiftly producing their work, I found myself captivated by the intricacies of my subjects. Whether it was exploring the mysteries of quantum entanglement or the psychological phenomenon of déjà vu, I immersed myself completely, often spending long nights researching and conceptualizing my ideas.
This relentless pursuit of knowledge and understanding brought me deep satisfaction and unique insights. However, it also led to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. My eagerness to take on complex challenges often meant that my process was more laborious and time-consuming. I questioned why things seemed easier for others and why I had to work so hard to achieve what appeared simple to them.
As I journeyed through my academic and creative path, I discovered that my approach was not just about the process; it was also tied to my expectations. I wanted to grasp and convey the essence of complex concepts, often opting for the road less traveled in order to explore uncharted territories. My fascination with these topics was undeniable, but it also meant that I carried a heavier load than others.
My recent discovery of being neurodivergent has shed light on my learning style and approach to problem-solving. I realized that I thrive on trial and error and spend more time on pre-production, focusing on the subject matter rather than just the tools or software. This method has allowed me to engage in profound conversations and create meaningful work, even if the process itself was more arduous.
Despite the challenges, I've come to appreciate this aspect of myself as a kind of superpower. By carrying 500lbs instead of 20lbs, I gain experiences and knowledge that others may miss out on. My journey may be slower and less direct, but it is rich with learning and growth. Through every struggle and victory, I accumulate insights that shape not only my work but also my understanding of the world around me.
As I reflect on my journey, I recognize that carrying 500lbs comes with both its challenges and rewards. On one hand, the extra effort can lead to burnout and frustration, especially when results take longer to achieve or don’t match my expectations. Yet, on the other hand, this approach has enriched my life with a deeper understanding of the world and a greater appreciation for the complexities of the subjects I study.
The benefits of my approach include:
In-depth Understanding: My dedication to exploring complex concepts allows me to gain a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter. This depth of knowledge often leads to innovative insights and perspectives that others may overlook.
Meaningful Connections: Through my research and curiosity, I've been able to engage in meaningful conversations with experts and peers. These interactions have broadened my horizons and enriched my personal and professional life.
Creative Expression: The challenge of portraying intricate concepts in my work pushes me to think creatively and outside the box. This has led to unique and impactful projects that stand out in their originality.
However, there are also drawbacks to consider:
Time and Effort: The extra time and effort required to pursue complex topics can sometimes lead to exhaustion and a lack of balance in other areas of my life.
Frustration and Self-Doubt: The journey isn't always smooth, and there are moments when I question my abilities or feel overwhelmed by the workload.
Missed Opportunities: While focusing on one topic, I may miss other opportunities for growth or connection that come with a more streamlined approach.
Despite these challenges, I've learned to embrace the unique path I'm on. The weight of carrying 500lbs has taught me resilience, patience, and the value of perseverance. It’s important to remember that each person's journey is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to learning or creating.
For those who relate to my story, I encourage you to embrace your curiosity and willingness to take on challenges. It's okay to carry a little extra weight and go the extra mile in pursuit of knowledge and excellence. While it may take longer and demand more effort, the journey is rewarding in its own way.
Ultimately, it's okay to take the long way around if it leads you to new perspectives. Your path may be different from others, but it's one that will offer you a rich tapestry of learning and growth. Keep going, keep exploring, and trust that your journey will lead you to places you never imagined.
Thank you for joining me on this reflection. I hope my story resonates with you and encourages you to embrace your own path, no matter how heavy the load may seem at times. Remember, the experience and knowledge you gain along the way are worth every step.
Here is an example of me doing “too much” for a “simple assignment”:
Concept: Complex Time & Space
Concept: Complex Time & Space.
ATS is Production. [Project: Capture video that is received by the audience as "abstract"—but that also clearly communicates an Idea. Capture video that uses motion to advance the story—not just camera movement, but specifically object movement. Overcome challenges related to delivering content exclusively caught in-camera].
